Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Time off

A friend called me up yesterday and asked me to play cricket. I haven't played for years but still love the game and, as I've barely had a day off this year I said yes.

Off I went and I had the most awful day. I sent a joke text message to someone I hardly know by mistake, got hit on the ear and my head's still ringing, and played atrociously.

Today I feel shattered and drained of energy - this isn't meant to happen after a break! To be honest, I've felt miserable and listless and uninspired and wretched all day. I slogged my way through some marketing documents, and sent e-mails and made lists. But nothing really worked.

I watched Location Location Location this evening and saw two Doctors buy this amazing dream home in Matlock. And, wallowing in self pity, I thought to myself, why couldn't I have just become a doctor? It would be so much easier. And I could buy a nice house in Matlock with a nice wife intead of sitting in my flat working on Bloom projects.

It's the sort of day that two years ago would have depressed me pretty badly.

But I have my vision now. I have found something which resembles my calling. And to an extent it's the vision that protects me. My calling, it turns out, doesn't involve being a doctor, but it may well involve helping as many people as I would have done with a stethoscope and prescription pad.

Bloom will be the best place you can go to change your life for the better. And when it is, after days like this, I know I will be able to look back and say: I deserve this.

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