Tuesday, 6 February 2007

Limbo

I hated my job, but at a low level of hatred. It was never bad enough for me to take a bold decision. So I carried on, spiralling into the following loop:

1. I hate this, I must move on
2. Move on to do what?
3. Something to do with my strengths...
4. What sort of thing do you have in mind?
5. Erm. Psychologist?
6. That's 5 years full time study! Do you really want to be poor?
7. But I can't do this for the rest of my life!
8. So what do you want to do?
9. Erm. Start my own business?
10. IN WHAT???

This state of limbo lasted 3 years, during which I took two sabbaticals to 'find myself' (I found myself mainly watching sport and drinking), got fat, tried to set up a property company, lost a deposit on a flat in Hungary, tried to set up a cricket coaching company, battled mild depression, and even tried to set up a bar in Bow.

Each time I looked into psychology I felt too old to change, too scared of losing all my money and too short of ideas to make it work. I was lost. I was in limbo.

But it turns out limbo was my lowest point.

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